Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
