her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
