Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
