You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
