whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
