Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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