Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
