i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
