WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
