I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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