so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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