She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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