As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
