I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
