He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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