Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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