Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
