'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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