lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
