69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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