i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize