Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize