Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
birth control should be required to get into college
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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