omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
A bitchslap is in order.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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