the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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