I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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