I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
