i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
