Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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