Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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