awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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