i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
