I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
