I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Actions speak louder than pants.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
