Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I touched a dick in church today
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
