I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
