I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
