I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
