That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
