i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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