who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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