I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
