Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
