When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
