If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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