He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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