why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and she was petting her beer can
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
