Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize