I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
