you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
