I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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