Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
