I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
