somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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