Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
