Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
