Who did Billy Mays play for?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize