i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
