eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am available for nakedness
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
