Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
